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Ah, the novelty purse. Kooky, kitschy and sometimes downright weird, one could say these accessories are right on brand for me (and Jared Leto, apparently). Sure, they’re not exactly practical — my Patricia Nash newspaper clutch barely holds a tampon and the vintage telephone bag I won at auction still smells like mothballs — but their whimsy also brings me a whole lot of joy. Even when they give me pause or make me scratch my head (yes, I am referring to the $895 diamond-encrusted Area chair bag that graced Selling Sunset star Christine Quinn’s arm in season 4 and that downright bizarre Edie Parker shrimp cocktail bag that made it onto the Oscars 2021 red carpet), I still appreciate them for their ability to make me feel something. 

It’s in that spirit that I’ve devoted my Sunday morning to tracking down the most batshit crazy purse designs you can buy. Sure, there will be those who can’t comprehend the purpose behind, say, a designer pigeon-shaped bag or a martini clutch, but in the words of Nikolas Bentel (aka the mastermind behind The Pasta Bag that I’m still kicking myself for not snagging), “For those of you asking, ‘Why? Why design a pasta bag?” my reply is simply, Why not?’ F*ck it. It’s a bag now.”

It’s a bag now, indeed.

The Best Novelty Purses of 2024

1. Nikolas Bentel The Pasta Bag 3.0

Now in its third (and according to the studio, final) iteration, the pasta bag 3.0 has a few more bells and whistles than the original. While the first version was closely modeled after a navy Barilla penne box, this one features a colorful yellow border akin to the De Cecco farfalle packaging. The chic little pasta-shaped charm, vegan leather and Bentel branding, however, are all original.

2. Moschino Teddy Bear Purse

Moschino has always been wonderfully weird (I’m still not over the 2022 burger collection), so naturally, the brand’s novelty bag game is on point. Case in point? This actual teddy bear that’s equipped with a kiss clasp at the back. (You know, like a coin purse, but cuter.) He opens to reveal what looks like just enough space for your credit cards, lip gloss and maybe your phone, depending on its size.

3. Enjoinin Popcorn Bucket Purse

Here, we have the quintessential popcorn bag — a.k.a. the kind that comes without calories or those little kernels that get wedged in your teeth. The satin lining sticks out above the bucket-shaped body to give the illusion of the buttery treat, and there’ll be no fear of your actual snacks (or lip gloss. Or sunscreen) falling out thanks to its drawstring closure. The handle also detaches, giving you several ways to wear it on your next trip to the movies.

4. Staud Palm Leather Purse

This summery bag is much smaller than I had anticipated  — it just barely holds my iPhone 13 (and yes, I’m aware I’m like, two Apple models behind) — but it might just be my most-used accessory. The green just seems to magically go with everything, and the unique leaf shape zhuzhes up even the most boring of ensembles. There’s a little suede insert that keeps its contents concealed, too (though you can also remove it for more space in a pinch).

5. Olympia Le Tan Mean Girls Burn Book Purse

OK, so $2K is a small fortune to spend on a purse, but really, what is the price for keeping your valuables (or secrets, same thing) close to your chest? The lining varies from purse to purse, since it’s handmade in Portugal, but the film’s iconic line of “On Wednesdays we wear pink” is a staple across the back of each one.

6. Kate Spade Glitzy Ritzy Newspaper Clutch Purse

Extra, extra! This bag is fire. As a journalist, this is no. 1 on my novelty purse wish list. It’s essentially the Carrie dress (you know the John Galliano masterpiece of which I speak) in bag form. While the publication it’s modeled after isn’t real, its headlines are far more appealing than the actual news, anyway. (Why yes, I do want to read about dogs stealing a pageant and greenmarkets for thyme!) It sure beats election coverage, amIright?

7. Edie Parker Burn Mop Purse

2021’s shrimp bag has been replaced by 2024’s mop. This head-turner has not only been designed to resemble a common cleaning essential (because again, why not?), it has a hidden feature in the form of a retractable lighter case that holds an included mini Bic. (Personally, I’d probably try to shove something more useful in there, like a little lipstick or something — I’ve never been one for smoking.)  Either way, it’s fun, it’s playful and it’s weird enough to make you stop to try to figure out exactly what it is you’re looking at: all the hallmarks of a truly great novelty purse.

8. Akira Espresso Martini Purse

When I lived in Chicago, Akira was *the* place to find genuinely unique clothing, shoes and accessories. And I do mean unique: name one other store that carries a mini dress with multicolored teddy bears sewn onto it next to a cowboy hat fully lined in curtain fringe. (Don’t even get me started on this trench coat gown, with full-length arm sleeves sewn onto the skirt.) In short, it’s the perfect place to seek out novelty purses, since seek, and ye shall find.  A cheaper take on the $5,795 Judith Leiber martini bag, this trendy pick allows you to make the most of the espresso martini moment for less than $100. It’s bejeweled from top to bottom (note the tiny little espresso “beans” at the top) and also comes with two removable strap options. There are no photos of it open, so it’s unclear how much it holds, but it sure is cute.

9. JW Pei Kallie Pigeon Purse

Pigeons get a bad rap, but I happen to think they’re rather majestic. (Their feathers are f*cking iridescent for Christ’s sakes, what more do you people want?) Yes, their poop has some diseases and stuff, but that’s why you admire them from afar. Or, you invest in one you can hold close, like this multicolored JW Pei beauty that’s currently available for pre-order. It’s unclear exactly how it unfastens, but my money’s on the wing, which seems to have a defined line separating it from the bird’s chest. As a fan of the brand, I also happen to know it’s one of the higher quality lines out there for the pricing. Though, if you happen to feel like spending $900, you can also pick up the JW Anderson version that fashion icon Carrie Bradshaw herself sported on …And Just Like That.)

10. Loungefly French Fry Messenger Purse

If you worship at the altar of McDonald’s French fries, as I do (lay off me, I’m an ‘80s baby), this vegan leather Loungefly pick will be right up your alley. It’s officially licensed, so the logo won’t look wonky, and the interior mirrors the actual McDonald’s fry packaging with its classic yellow-and-white lines. It’s not exactly high-end, but if you ask me, it fits right in with Moschino’s burgers, designer label be damned. It is on the larger side, however, so if you’ve got a petite frame, you may want to steer clear.

11. Puppets and Puppets Phone Purse

There are a million baguette bags you could choose to grace your arm (give me the Panera purse or give me death), but only this one has a phone-shaped handle. Brought to you by the same company that gave the world the “it” cookie bag of 2023, this little gem is poised to be popular with its magnetic closure and faux croc exterior. It also comes in olive for those who prefer a splash of color à la Kermie.

12. Grace Ling Mesh Hand Purse

This one makes a lot of sense, if you stop to think about it. After all, aren’t purses meant to lend you an extra hand? Why not a chainmail one molded into the actual shape? There’s a built-in key holder inside for convenience, and since each purse is handmade, it’s also one-of-a-kind — and the last one available on the Grace Ling website.

13. Nik Bentel Bentel’s Box Purse

Nik Bentel makes more than pasta purses — just get a load of this leather-and-suede gift box. Unlike a typical present, however, the contents you’ll find beneath its magnetic lid will be entirely up to you. It’s the perfect size for your extra-large phone (or a croissant, as the website so helpfully depicts), and once its 300 units are gone, it’s unlikely to return, making it a rare … wait for it… gift.

14. Betsey Johnson Sweet As Cherry Pie Purse

This confection-themed pick comes with three treats in one. There’s the sweet façade, which resembles a just-baked cherry pie, the removable cherry pin you can affix to your clothing and the recipe for an actual pie that’s helpfully printed onto the back. (Yum!) The bag itself is incredibly detailed — shoppers say the crisscross pie crust looks almost real — and there’s a little cherry adornment at the zipper, too.

15. Judith Leiber Cat Lolita Purse

This purse speaks to me on several levels. For starters, it’s made in the likeness of a cat.(‘Nuff said.) It’s also dressed like a French poet, which appeals to my inner Francophile. Last but not least, it’s called Lolita, which I both enjoyed as a novel and once named my own cat after. In short, it’s nearly perfect as far as novelty purses go. Unfortunately, it’s also nearly $6 grand, and not even made with actual diamonds. (They’re crystals—psh.)

16. QZUnique Camera Purse

This one’s giving Emily in Paris vibes, right down to the phrase that’s printed on the lens mount of “steal the spotlight.” With an opening under the faux mount dial, it reveals plenty of space for your cards et al. Better yet, the removable strap means you can wear it as a crossbody, a shoulder bag or as a clutch. The crème fraîche on top? It’s less than $25 bones.

17. Anya Hindmarch Potato Chips Purse

Novelty purses are kind of like Pringles … once you pop, you can’t stop. No bag says It better than this Anya Hindmarch masterpiece, which pairs the brand’s classic logo with leather and sequins galore. The chain strap comes off should you feel like holding it like a can, and there’s a drawstring closure to keep your valuables (or chips — no judgment) tucked in.

18. Cult Gaia Sirena Purse

With its pearlescent exterior and distinctive shape, Cult Gaia’s Sirena purse more than lives up to its name. Despite it’s delicate appearance, its marbled acrylic mouth fully opens like a clam for storage. And when you’re ready to close it, there’s a hidden magnetic fastener. I also enjoy the ergonomic opening at the top that allows you to grip it like a clutch sans strap.

19. Mary Frances Pineapple Purse

Rounding out the food-themed novelty bags is this Mary Frances pineapple purse. Decorated with a tropical flower and a removable strap, it’s worth the extra space in your suitcase you’ll need to tote it along on your next vacay. The interior is smaller than you might expect, but there’s a back pocket to keep your cards well within reach. (All the better for ordering matching pineapple drinks at the hotel bar!)

What’s your dream novelty bag? Tell me in the comments below.

Xo, Nicole