Halloween is one of my favorite times of year, if only for the scary movies. At the age of 4 or 5, A Nightmare on Elm Street ranked as one of my most beloved films — I even had the soundtrack on cassette! I also remember being deeply disappointed not to find a “My Little Buddy” doll (which I perceived to be Chucky from Child’s Play) under the Christmas tree.
In fact, the onlything to scare me as a child was our neighbor, Hank, who burst into our living room on Halloween one year dressed as Freddy Krueger himself and said in a menacing voice, “Lights out, little girl.” (That, and the human cotton candy pods from Killer Klowns from Outer Space, which for some reason, disturbed me to no end — strange, I know.)
In short? I was a scary movie freak.
At 33, I still love slasher flicks — I’m also still apparently petrified of killer clowns, as is evident by my top pick below.
While Wes Craven classics will always be on my seasonal list, my boyfriend and I also make it an annual mission to seek out the creepiest sh*t we can find on Netflix. And so, I give you nine of the scariest (and most obscure) movies you can stream right now … if you dare!
1. Terrifier: This was, hands down, the scariest f-ing movie I’ve ever seen in my life. While the premise is simple enough — killer clown terrorizes victims at random on Halloween night — the mere image of Art the Clown (horror flick junkies like myself might recognize him from All Hallow’s Eve) was enough to haunt my dreams. Something about this guy — from the cold, dead way he stares at his victims while sitting across from them in a public pizza joint to the slow, yet deliberate way he moves — struck fear into my heart in a way that Freddie, Jason and Chucky combined haven’t been able to accomplish. Do NOT watch this one alone: You’ve been warned!
2. Hush: Anyone who’s ever seen The Strangers knows that a masked stranger terrorizing the inhabitant of an isolated house in the woods makes for a perfect recipe for terror. Add in the fact that the heroine is deaf, and you’ve got a whole new level of pearl-clutching OMG.
3. The Boy: While this film starts out creepy enough, with a nanny being hired — unbeknownst to her — to care for a doll that an elderly couple believes to be their “son,” it’s got a twist you won’t see coming from a mile away: I was genuinely freaked by the time the credits rolled!
4. As Above, So Below: True, it’s not as gory as some of the others on the list, but this one still manages to get your heart pumping thanks to claustrophobia-inducing scenes in which characters squeeze their way through cramped tunnels filled with human remains in the catacombs of Paris. There’s also a heavy reference to Dante’s Inferno for all you literature buffs out there, as each treasure-seeker is confronted with their own personal hell come to life in the form of a hidden past.
5. The Windmill: Speaking of hidden pasts, seven people escaping their own backstories are transported to a creepy old windmill in this Dutch offering, where they’re picked off one-by-one for past transgressions by a burned-up looking miller with a scythe. *Shudder* In short, it’s the classic monster-chasing movie of my youth, and I couldn’t love it more.
6: Creep 2: Rarely is a sequel ever better than the original, but that’s exactly the case with Creep 2, the follow-up to 2014’s indie hit of the same name. Deranged killer Josef (now Aaron) returns, but this time, he’s got no pretenses about his intentions: He’s candidly confessing his crimes to his newest potential victim, Sara, in an attempt to recapture the thrill of his early slayings. But will the bond of their now-shared secrets be enough to keep him from taking her out? Dun dun DUNNNNN!!!!
7. The Open House: If you’re the type that checks under the bed and behind the bathroom curtains at night to make sure no one snuck into your house when you weren’t looking, you probably shouldn’t watch this movie, since that’s pretty much its exact plot. Don’t say I didn’t give you a heads up!
8. Desolation: While the bad guy admittedly looks more like a coffee house hipster than a psychopath murderer thanks to his flowing locks, goatee and reflective sunnies, his ever-looming presence at the heels of a mother, her son and her best friend as they traipse through desolate woods is enough to give you some serious heebie jeebies — and a healthy fear of any and all future camping trips.
9. The Conjuring: OK, OK, so you’s probably seen this one already, but it’s definitely eerie enough to warrant a second viewing. Based on the true tale of the Perron family, who claimed to experience demonic activity in their Rhode Island farmhouse, and Ed and Lorraine Warren, the paranormal investigators who came to their aid, your imagination will run wild as you try to decipher fact from fiction. Bonus tip: Those REALLY seeking a thrill can head over to Ed and Lorraine’s real-life Occult Museum, where the scary ass doll from the film is actually housed.
